HORRIBLE (and hilarious) Stock Violin Photos

HORRIBLE (and hilarious) Stock Violin Photos

by Andrew Ryan Henke

I've been working for Ronald Sachs Violins here in Atlanta, Georgia for about five months now, and often I have to find images for ads, twitter posts, blogs, etc.  I have found it is very hard to find good pictures of teenagers and young adults playing instruments in a natural, orchestra setting.  However, what is very VERY easy to find is hilariously bad stock photos of people holding violins.

So here are a few I've found that just make me laugh.

I call these first few, "I don't need no stinkin' bridge!"

So elegant.  That bow grip and no bridge....

I'd imagine salt water and sand is bad for an instrument... but I'm sure she knows that being the fact that she's playing with no bridge and all.

The hair is the important part.  Pay no attention to the bow grip, incorrect chin rest placement, and lack of bridge.

 Bad added photoshop fire for the win.  This happens to me when I play... doesn't it happen to you?

 At first I thought she was just posing with this cello in an awkward way... but no, she is actually acting like she's playing it.

 Proper care of your instrument 101.

 Seriously, it is SO easy to find images like this.

This is the stuff of nightmares.  The upside down bow is an afterthought on this one.  I dare you to print this image and put it beside your bed tonight.  Yeah, you're not going to because you don't want nightmares.

 This is definitely the correct size instrument for this girl.  Definitely.

 The model took a break to make robot voices into a box fan.

 Just no.

Most of these images seem to be women, but men are not immune!  I'm sure that instrument sounds BEAUTIFUL halfway up the fingerboard like that.

 Cool outfit... but I've SERIOUSLY never seen someone hold a bow like that before, and I taught public school orchestra for nine years!

SO much effort went into this girl's look... and they put zero effort into figuring out how to hold a violin.

 I'm going to tell my children this is where string instruments come from.  Who WHO thought this would make a good picture?

 Gotta love playing a violin backwards.  I wonder if this picture was actually taken correctly, then someone flipped it later.  That bridge looks a little lower on the left side though, so I doubt it.

 Did someone think this was cool?  It's just... confusing.  Broken bow parts... what?  Also, for some reason the instrument's strings are going UNDER the fingerboard?!?

I had to send this one to my boss, Ronald Sachs himself, it was so bad.  She fairly successfully made herself to look like she's passionately making music... until you notice the bow.... :-/

I seriously think that bow is as tall as she is.

This lady and the last girl should swap bows!

This seriously took me about 15 minutes to find all of these images.  What is it about photographers giving often broken violins to people when neither of them have ANY idea how to play or let alone hold one.  I am also amused that apparently people think playing violin is this beautiful, passionate, earth-shatteringly intimate experience.

Hope you had a laugh!  I know I did finding all these pictures for you!

By Andrew Ryan Henke
http://www.ronaldsachs.com

Andrew Ryan Henke is the manager of the Marietta/East Cobb branch of Ronald Sachs Violins.  He has played string bass for 22 years and was a public school orchestra teacher for nine years.  He also is a fantasy author of the epic trilogy "The Lumin Prophecies." www.andrewryanhenke.com